


The Forest for the Trees

by track_04



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KinKi Kids, NewS (Band), Tackey & Tsubasa
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Fantasy, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-01
Updated: 2010-09-01
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:51:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/track_04/pseuds/track_04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A routine trip to Tokyo leads to a new friendship, confusion, and a bit of mystery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [missmonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmonster/gifts).



> Written for 2010's je_fqfest. Huge, huge thanks go out to beltenebra for beta'ing help and general encouragement!

It was mid-morning when Tsubasa woke, the sun already starting to eat away at the shade beneath the tree, warming his feet where they stuck out beneath the cover of the branches. He pulled them in as he sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes and blinking out at the empty road, sitting dusty and unused a few feet from where he’d slept.

He stretched his arms above his head and let out a yawn, bones cracking in a way that wasn’t altogether pleasant. Making a face, he rubbed at his right ankle absently, his eyes drifting to the lump of blue beside him that was his travel coat—somehow no worse for the wear, despite the fact that he’d lost his hat and sandals in the river and had to replace them.

He stopped staring eventually and dug around in his pack, pulling out one of the rice balls that he and Masuda had made together the day before, eyes drifting back to the road as he ate. There was a nagging voice in the back of his head that told him he should stop dallying already and get home, but he ignored it, taking another bite of his breakfast and chewing slowly.

It wasn’t as if his return home hadn’t been delayed by two months already, anyway. A few more minutes weren’t going to hurt anything.

The nagging voice in his head won out once he’d finished his breakfast and he stood, pulling on the sandals that Masuda had given him and gathered up the rest of his things, slinging them across his back.

His steps sounded surprisingly lonely as he moved down the dirt road, stopping to throw a glance over his shoulder after a few feet, back in the general direction of the river. He squinted against the sunlight, thought maybe he could make it out in the distance, winding through the hills. Smiling at the thought he turned and continued on his way home.

~o~

"Oh, you’re not dead."

Tsubasa blinked, turning his head toward the sound of the unfamiliar voice, the sudden throbbing in his temples making his breath escape in a sharp hiss. “Am I supposed to be?”

“No.” A laugh, low and warm, and then Tsubasa heard footsteps as the owner of the voice stepped forward, the firelight at his back casting odd shadows over his face. Tsubasa watched as he knelt beside him, reaching out to press something damp and blessedly cool against his forehead. "Careful. You got a really good knock on the head. It might be sore for awhile."

"Might?" Tsubasa mumbled, regretting his petulant tone almost immediately. "Sorry." He reached up, brushing fingers against the cloth on his forehead and squinting at the face hovering above his, features indistinct in the dull light. "Thanks."

"Don't worry about it." Tsubasa could hear the smile in the other's voice, the sound of it softening his words. "I'm just glad you’re not dead.”

"Thanks. I think.” Tsubasa frowned at the other through the dark, starting to notice the way the rest of his body ached now that the throbbing in his head had started to dull a little. “What happened?”

"I was hoping you could tell me that. I found you washed up on the river bank after the storm. Not many people travel through here, so it seemed a little odd.”

"I don’t remem--” Tsubasa started, then cut himself off with a soft groan. “The storm... I thought I could make it home before it hit.”

“You didn’t quite make it,” the other man observed, his voice more thoughtful than judgmental.

“I was trying to take a short cut—I must have gotten turned around in the storm.”

"Not a very good short cut."

"I know." Tsubasa sighed and turned to look at his companion, his eyes adjusted to the dark enough that he could make out a round face with soft, boyish features. "How long have I been here?"

"Three days."

Tsubasa swore under his breath and started to sit up before a hand against his chest forced him back down. "I have to go—everyone’s going to be worried. I was supposed to be back yesterday. I’ll be lucky if they aren’t already looking for me.”

"You can't go anywhere right now."

"But--"

"But nothing. You need to rest.” The man leaned in close enough that Tsubasa had no trouble making out the gentle smile that he wore, an expression that seemed at odds with the sternness in his voice. "Besides, you can’t travel now. You sprained one of your ankles pretty badly. I doubt you’d be able to travel right now even if you had someone else with you, let alone on your own.”

Tsubsasa groaned and relaxed back against the pillow, too tired and sore to do much arguing in the face of the other’s logic. "Tsuyoshi is going to kill me."

"I hope not." The man chuckled. "It would seem like a waste putting in all this effort if he was just going to undo all my hard work."

Tsubasa laughed softly at that, unable to help himself. "I'll be sure to tell him that."

"Be sure you do." The man laughed again, low and deep, and Tsubasa swore he could just make out a dimple on his right cheek from his grin.

"Tsubasa, by the way."

"Tsubasa?"

"Yeah, that's me. My name, I mean. Imai Tsubasa," Tsubasa mumbled, smiling weakly at the other through the dark.

"Masuda Takahisa. Nice to meet you." Masuda leaned over again, pulling the cloth from Tsubasa's forehead and replacing it with another. "You should probably rest, Imai-san. We'll have plenty of time to talk later, now that you're not dying."

"Just Tsubasa is fine." Tsubasa opened his mouth to say more but found his words swallowed up by a yawn.

"Just Tsubasa, get some sleep," Masuda murmured, the amusement in his voice following Tsubasa into his dreams.

~o~

The first stars were already out when Tsubasa got back to the city, the streets that strange sort of empty that they only had at this time of night, after the day crowds had wandered home and the street vendors had put away their wares for the evening, but just before the night crowds had  
made their way into the streets and alleyways, hocking an entirely different type of goods.

Tsubasa had always liked this time, the relative quiet it brought, the freedom to move about the streets without the constant press of people around him, but still free of the illicit stares that came later in the evening. But now, instead of soothing it just made him nervous, hands tightening around the straps holding his belongings onto his back as he rounded a corner into the artisans’ district. The rows of workshops and sometimes storefronts looked familiar and oddly foreign all at once; he hadn’t known that two months was such a long time to be away.

He stopped in the middle of the street in front of a tiny building trapped between two larger, newer looking buildings on either side, looking slightly out of place but still well maintained. He tilted his head back to stare at the characters on the wooden sign above the door, thick and black and surprisingly without flourish.

 _Domoto Textiles_.

Tsubasa mouthed the words, smiling a little as he turned and slipped into the narrow alley between the tiny building and one of its larger neighbors, making his way around to the side entrance, eyes scanning the area for any changes. There really weren’t any to speak of, a fact that really wasn’t that surprising, given that the alleyway and the building had looked much the same for as long as he could remember. Even so, it was reassuring.

He cleared his throat as he stepped inside the building and called out a soft greeting, feeling just as nervous as he was happy. He expected chaos—he had been away for a lot longer than expected, after all, with no real way of sending word or explanation aside from a short note Masuda had said he’d have a friend pass along when he made it to the city. Tsuyoshi had always been oddly protective of him, ever since the first dayTsubasa had stepped through his door, ten years old and close to tears, his family a hundred miles away and a new city all around him.

Honestly, he was still pretty shocked that Tsuyoshi hadn’t tromped across the mountains to find him when he’d gotten word about what had happened. Then again, maybe he was finally starting to see reason now that he’d made it past the 30 year mark.

Tsubasa hung his hat off an empty hook and slipped out of his sandals, sliding them into the free space between Tsuyoshi’s many, much more lavish pairs. Lined up along the entryway facing the door were three more pairs of sandals, their presence hinting at the possibility that Tsuyoshi had guests over for dinner. He gave them a cursory glance as he stepped up out of the entryway and into the house, not at all surprised to find that all three pairs were familiar.

He could smell dinner and he followed the scent to find Tsuyoshi, Koichi, Tackey, and Subaru all seated around a low table, mostly-empty dishes spread out before them. Tackey was still picking at one, laughing with Subaru around a mouthful of rice, while Tsuyoshi and Koichi both sat back, sipping tea and looking content.

“I’m home,” Tsubasa said, voice a bit subdued as he slipped into the room.

“That was a quick trip.” Subaru swatted at Tackey’s hand where the other was trying to shove his chopsticks—still holding rice—in his face and gave Tsubasa a sidelong glance.

“So, what did you bring me?” Tackey’s voice was eager as he gave up and put the chopsticks away, and Tsubasa couldn’t help a smile and a quiet laugh, the nervous knot in his gut easing as he left his pack along the wall and moved to take an empty spot at the table.

“Nothing. I thought the fact that I was back was enough.”

“Some present. Like you could ever stay away.”

“Not for long, anyway,” Tsubasa mumbled, smiling a little as he folded his legs beneath him and turned to give Tsuyoshi a questioning look. “So, you resisted the urge to come look for me?”

Tsuyoshi’s lips pursed as he held back a smile. “I had some time to think while you were gone and you were right, I do fuss too much.”

“Really?”

“I was worried about this trip and look what happened.”

Tsubasa flushed, unsure what to make of that. “I know things didn’t go quite as planned, but I’m fine now, really. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Worry me?” Tsuyoshi frowned, a puzzle look on his face. “Why would I be worried?”

Tsubasa blinked. “Me falling in the river, the delay—“

“You fell in the _river_?”

Across the table, Tackey and Subaru cackled and Koichi and Tsuyoshi both shot them a look.

“Yes. Didn’t you get my letter? Masuda said that he’d have someone bring it to you.” Tsubasa glanced around the table, trying to make sense of the looks the others were giving him. “I sent it over a month ago.”

“A month ago?” Tsubasa could see Tsuyoshi’s expression shift as he continued, words slow and careful. He heard another laugh from across the table, this time nervous, but it died just as quickly as it started. “Tsubasa, you’ve only been gone for a week.”

“What?” It was Tsubasa’s turn to be confused now, looking from one face to another as he tried to figure out what was going on. For a split second he thought it might be some sort of joke that they were all playing, some sort of revenge for making them all worry. “I was gone for two months." 

It was silent in the room, the awkward, uncomfortable sort of silence that Tsubasa hated, the kind that meant everyone around you was looking at you, struggling for the right thing to say. Tsuyoshi lifted a hand and touched his arm lightly, his accent deepening the way it always did when he was truly bothered by something. “It’s been seven days. We weren’t even expecting you back until tomorrow.”

Tsubasa opened his mouth to speak, then shut it, unsure what to say. The silence stretched on as he stared at Tsuyoshi, trying to make sense of this. Two months—he _knew_ that he’d been gone two months, and he had Masuda’s hat and shoes and the slight twinge in his right ankle when he walked for too long to prove it.

He almost laughed, convincing himself for a moment that this really was some sort of elaborate joke, but the sound died in his throat. The way they were looking at him was too genuinely confused and worried, far too serious for that to be the case.

“You must be tired from traveling.” Koichi was the one to break the silence, clearing his throat and leaning around Tsuyoshi to give Tsubasa a strained smile. “Maybe you should get some rest. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Tsubasa smiled weakly and let Tsuyoshi coax him back to his room, the older man fussing over him the way that he’d expected, but for entirely different reasons.

~o~

It was light in the room the next time Tsubasa opened his eyes, the faint sounds of rain on the rooftop and the scent of miso and fresh fish greeting him. It took him a moment to place where he was, fuzzy memories from the night before trickling back into place slowly as he stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling.

“Still not dead, I see.”

Tsubasa turned his head—slowly this time, the memory of the ache from the night before enough to make him cautious—to find Masuda seated on the floor a few feet from his futon, feet folded under him as he stirred a small black pot situated over the hearth. The other man’s features were much easier to make sense of in the light, making him look younger and more real than the night before. It was like seeing a painting after it had been finished, when all you’d known before was the preliminary rough sketch, maybe some outlines and a few splashes of color; he couldn’t help but compare what he saw now with what he thought he’d seen the night before, seeing how the image in his mind measured up to the real thing. “Not yet, anyway.”

Masuda turned his head and smiled at him, the dimple that Tsubasa thought he might have glimpsed the night before standing out against his cheek. Tsubasa smiled weakly in return and decided that the full picture of Masuda’s face was even better than he’d imagined it.

“Good, because I made extra and I really hate leftovers.”

Tsubasa laughed and pushed himself up onto his elbows slowly. He breathed in deeply, his head surprising him by only giving a dull throb at the movement. He decided that further movement was probably safe and turned his head further to watch Masuda pluck a pair of shiny red bowls off of a low shelf beside him. He found himself staring before his manners kicked in and he could think better of it, mesmerized by the precise way that Masuda filled first one bowl and then the other, like every gesture was carefully planned out and no movement was wasted. It was oddly graceful.

Masuda set one of the bowls in front of him, offering up another smile that Tsubasa found himself returning. “How’s your head?”

“Better,” Tsubasa answered, pushing himself up higher to lean back against the wall, stomach growling again, more insistent this time. Masuda laughed softly and reached out to help him, folding the blanket covering him down to his feet and spreading a white cloth across his lap.

“Careful.” Masuda handed him the bowl and Tsubasa took it with a quiet thanks, cradling it carefully between his palms and resisting the urge to make a pig of himself. He rested it on his lap instead, letting the warmth from the bowl seep through the cloth covering his legs, down through his clothes and into his skin. He breathed in deeply and started to eat then, faster than he normally would in polite company, but slower than he wanted.

Beside him, Masuda arched an eyebrow and smiled a little to himself as he lifted his own bowl, but otherwise made no comment.

They continued eating like that for several minutes, Tsubasa too focused on filling his belly and Masuda too seemingly unconcerned with conversation for the silence around them to feel uncomfortable. It was only after he’d finished his first bowl—without even really tasting it, he was embarrassed to realize—and Masuda held out a hand in a silent offer for seconds that Tsubasa realized just how little talking they were doing. Not that he’d ever been that talkative himself, but it was odd, eating a meal in complete silence. At home, they almost always had some sort of company over, filling up the silences that he and Tsuyoshi made and pulling the words from them, coaxing them both into conversations.

“Sorry.”

“For what?” Masuda frowned slightly as he handed Tsubasa back his bowl—now full—and sat back to retrieve his own.

“I’m not really good company.”

Masuda shrugged and smiled just enough that Tsubasa could make out the shadow of his dimple. “It’s okay. I’m not really used to company.”

“Oh. That works out well, then.”

Masuda nodded, taking a bite and chewing slowly, his face thoughtful. Silence fell between them again, but this time Tsubasa noticed it and couldn’t help but search for words to fill it up. There was a lot he could ask Masuda, honestly, considering he really knew nothing about him aside from the fact that he lived here—wherever here was—and he was nice enough to bring in a complete stranger he’d found half-drowned in the river and take care of him. He’d never been good at words, though, so he focused on his bowl and let all the unspoken questions escape him in a soft puff of air to float in the empty space between them.

“So, you dye cloth for a living?”

“What?” Tsubasa blinked, mouth hanging open a little, the sudden question catching him off guard. “Yes—I mean, kind of. I make the dye and then Tsuyoshi—my mentor—does the actual design work. But how did you know that?”

“You talk in your sleep.”

“Seriously?”

“No.” Masuda shook his head, chuckling softly at the look Tsubasa was giving him. “I found some of your things washed up on the river bank. There were a few packages with powders that looked like they might be used for that sort of thing, so I thought I’d take a guess.”

“Oh... oh no, the dye,” Tsubasa groaned loudly and sat his bowl aside, running a hand up through his hair. He’d completely forgotten about the pack full of very expensive, very-important-to-their-business dye that he’d been carrying with him. He’d had nearly a year’s supply, none of which was easily replaceable, even if they could have afforded to do so. “It’s probably ruined.”

“I think some of it might be okay.” Masuda said, hand twitching for a moment like he wasn’t quite sure if he should reach out and pat the other on the shoulder to console him. “I saved everything that I found. It’s over there with your clothes--You can check it over later.”

“You did? Thank you.” Tsubasa breathed a sigh, somewhat relieved to know that maybe _something_ had survived his impromptu swim in the river, at least. He ran a hand through his hair and stopped, the rest of what Masuda said clicking. “Wait… my clothes?”

“Ah, they were soaked when I found you, so I let you borrow some of mine. You can change back into them whenever you want.”

“No, that’s okay.” Tsubasa glanced down at the clothes he was wearing, wondering how he hadn’t noticed something different before. Granted, he had been passed out for a few days and too fixated on his food before this to care, but the fact that the Yukata felt short on his legs and a bit baggy around his shoulders probably should have clued him in. He reached down, lifting the cloth off of his lap to finger the fabric, admiring the texture. It was then that it hit him just how much the other man had done for him, and without even knowing his name. He felt a sudden rush of embarrassed gratitude. “Masuda-san—“

“Just Masuda.”

“Masuda,” Tsubasa amended with a sheepish smile. “Thank you. For everything. I should have said it before now.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Masuda grinned. “I’m willing to forgive you since you were unconscious.”

Tsubasa laughed.

“Besides, I’m still just glad you didn’t die.”

“Yeah, me too.”

~o~

Tsubasa did not, in fact, feel better in the morning. The night had been a particularly restless one—his bed seeming strange after so long away from it and his head so full of thoughts he half expected them to pour out of his ears and onto his pillow. He woke up still thinking about the conversation from the night before, turning it over and over again in his head.

Two months. Seven days.

It had to be one or other, couldn’t be both. Only, the more he thought about it, the less the whole thing made sense and the more possible it seemed that maybe it actually _had_ to be both.

He’d questioned Tsuyoshi again before the other had gone to bed, still half-hoping that he would laugh and tell him it was all a joke and that he should just go to sleep. Laughter wasn’t the answer that he got to his whispered questions, though, only Tsuyoshi getting increasingly more and more irritable, the best indication that this wasn’t any sort of joke and that the other was starting to genuinely worry about him.

Two months. Seven days.

He’d brought it up again at breakfast, the results being another argument and Tsuyoshi leaving without finishing his breakfast, only to return a few hours later looking more tired and worried than Tsubasa liked. He’d made lunch and small talk after that, forcing a smile and not bringing up the issue again. He was half-afraid that if he did Tsuyoshi would think that he was legitimately crazy.

A short conversation with one of their customers later that day and an off-hand comment about Tsubasa making good time on his trip only confirmed that what Tsuyoshi insisted on was true—he really had only been gone for a week. He started to doubt himself a little then, wondering if he wasn’t actually crazy after all.

Only, he still had the lingering pain in his ankle and the things that Masuda had given him that said otherwise.

“This isn’t what we ordered.”

Tsuyoshi’s comment broke Tsubasa’s train of thought and he turned his head, expression sheepish at the confused look the other man was giving him, hand outstretched with an open paper parcel full of familiar leaves pressed inside. “Some of it was ruined when I fell in the river during the storm. I thought I’d replace it.” He almost backtracked, afraid the explanation would remind the other man of their earlier conversation and lead to more worry, but he seemed willing to buy it.

Not that there was really anything to buy. It _was_ actually the truth.

“Hm.” Tsuyoshi stared at the leaves a bit longer than was strictly necessary. “I guess it never hurts to go back to basics.”

“I guess not.”

“Besides, if it’s that much worse than the usual stuff we can just use it on whatever Koichi orders this season.” Tsuyoshi shot him a sideways smile and Tsubasa returned it, feeling his shoulders relax.

~o~

“This one’s ruined.” Tsubasa sighed, eyeing the red-stained paper in his hand, the muddy looking lump of red paste in the middle staring back at him sadly. He made a face as he folded the paper back up, careful not to let any of the contents spill, and laid it on top of an ever-growing pile of similar looking packages beside him.

“No good?”

Tsubasa jumped a little, startled to turn and find Masuda kneeling next to him, close enough that their thighs nearly touched. He’d been too wrapped up in inspecting a year’s worth of ruined dye to notice Masuda move from his place by the stove. “A few are still okay.” He motioned to the very small pile of brown packages in front of Masuda with a frown. “We won’t be able to use most of it, though. Either the river washed too much of it away or it got too wet. It’ll never hold to the cloth.”

Masuda’s face was thoughtful as he picked up the most recently discarded package and opened it up, frowning at the contents. “Can you replace it?”

“Some of it. There are sellers near us who can replace some of the more common colors, but the quality won’t be as good and it will cost twice as much.”

Masuda rewrapped the package and gave him a sympathetic look.

“We’re already going to be behind schedule since I’m stuck here. If we’re short supplies, too, we’ll be lucky if we get any of our orders done on time.” Tsubasa scrubbed a hand through his hair in frustration, wincing a little when he forgot and brushed against the knot on the back of his head. He really didn’t know what they were going to do. Tsuyoshi would probably be too relieved when he got home to say anything, but that really wasn’t a very consoling thought. It wouldn’t do anything to get them the supplies they needed to get their orders done on time.

“You can make most of these colors from plants, too, right?”

Tsubasa nodded, giving Masuda a questioning look. “Yes.”

“And you know what those plants look like? You could find them if you needed to?”

“Yes, most of them.”

“Then you can look for them here.”

“Here?”

Masuda shrugged. “Why not? The woods here have to have at least some of what you need.”

Tsubasa frowned, biting at his bottom lip as he mulled it over. It wouldn’t replace what he’d lost completely, but at least it would be something. “It might work. It will be hard to find everything I need in one place, though.”

“Then we’ll improvise. We have plenty of time to figure it out while your ankle heals, anyway. You’ve still got a while before you can manage the woods. ”

Tsubasa wrinkled his nose at that and shot the ankle in question a dirty look while Masuda just chuckled softly beside him.

~o~

The rest of spring and summer passed so quickly that Tsubasa really didn’t have time to stop and reflect much, which was almost a relief. He avoided mentioning anything about his strange not-two-month absence around anyone else and things seemed to settle back into place, his life falling back into its usual rhythm. During the day he was typically too busy to focus on much more than the work at hand, anyway, putting all his energy into coaxing the perfect shades of dye out of the various plants and barks and berries that he’d brought home, needing to get them _just right_. He went to bed each night exhausted, but happily so, generally feeling pretty happy with his results and better about his work than he had in quite awhile.

There wasn’t really much time to let himself think about his odd trip to the city or Masuda; the brief moments between the time he laid down in his bed each night and the time he fell asleep were the only times he ever really allowed himself the luxury. He still wasn’t quite willing to believe that it had all been in his head, but he had no idea how to prove that it wasn’t—so he left it alone, trying not to dwell on it except when he was alone in the dark.

“You make Tsuyoshi worry.”

Tsubasa gave Koichi a startled look as the other took a seat beside him, yukata hitched up around his knees and his legs at odd angles, a slight scowl on his face. He reminded him a bit of his grandfather, sitting beside him on the river bank after dinner, Tsubasa seated on one side and his sister on the other as he told them stories about gods and demons and brave little boys who were born from peaches. “I do?”

Koichi grunted, a sound that he used to cover up the fact that he was struggling for words. “He thinks you work too hard.”

Tsubasa frowned. “He hasn’t said anything.”

“He won’t. He’s too worried.” Koichi kept his face turned out toward the street, not bothering to look at him. “Should he be, or can I just tell him he’s being paranoid again?”

“What? No, I’m fine.” The answer slipped out automatically, and Tsubasa had to force himself to stop for a moment, turning it over in his head to make sure it was true. “Really.”

Koichi stared at him for a long moment. “That business with your trip….”

“Was nothing,” Tsubasa answered, and that he knew that one was a lie, but he didn’t think the truth would do them any good here. “I was probably just out in the sun too long.”

“Good.” Koichi turned to look out at the street again, the lines around his mouth relaxing. “It would be a shame if you burnt yourself out, you know. Tsuyoshi wouldn’t be the same without you, and then I’d have to find someone new to make costumes for the theater.”

Tsubasa smiled a little in spite of himself. “That won’t be happening anytime soon.”

“It better not. The only other decent shop in this city charges nearly twice as much.”

~o~

“Hm.”

“Is that a good or a bad ‘hm’?” Tsubasa leaned forward, trying to get a glimpse of his ankle. It wasn’t easy with the way Masuda was leaning over it, poking and prodding at it with a gentle finger and occasionally taking Tsubasa’s foot in his hands to turn it carefully from side to side. Tsubasa only winced twice during Masuda’s examination (or maybe three times, but the last had been more in anticipation of pain than because what Masuda was doing actually hurt), so he was willing to take that as a good sign.

“Neither.” Masuda turned his head, grinning at him from beneath the fall of his bangs and Tsubasa was tempted for just a moment to kick him. He was willing to blame the urge on being cooped up between the same four walls for nearly two weeks, his only reprieve when Masuda helped him hobble down to the hot spring for a bath every so often. Normally, he wasn’t a violent person.

Masuda seemed to take the hint that Tsubasa’s face was trying to give him and moved the other’s foot from his lap gently. “It looks like most of the swelling is gone. It’s probably safe to move around more.”

The sound that Tsubasa made in response to that would have been embarrassing if he wasn’t so busy being elated.

“If we have time after dinner we could always go for a walk—“

“Yes.” Tsubasa answered, already trying to stand before Masuda reached out a hand to stop him, laughing. “ _After dinner_. We need to eat first.”

Tsubasa leaned back against the wall with a sigh.

Masuda laughed and Tsubasa did his best not to get huffy. “Are you going to just sit there, or are you going to help me with dinner?”

“What?”

“Well, you keep telling me that you can cook but I have yet to see any proof.” Masuda stood and offered Tsubasa a hand. “Cooking goes faster with company, anyway.”

Tsubasa grinned and took the offered hand, letting the other pull him to his feet.

~o~

Autumn had always been Tsubasa’s favorite time of year. Something about the way the colors of the city seemed to shift from summer greens to vibrant yellows and golds, subtle oranges, and rich crimsons was soothing. Autumn meant cooler days and nights, the drop in temperature bringing with it a more relaxed atmosphere, a half-way point between the almost frenetic energy of summer and its foods and festivals and the bleakness of winter.

Tsubasa had always enjoyed that feeling that everything was slowing down, even if it was mostly an illusion. Autumn was a busy time of year for most craftsmen, and the textile business was no exception. He and Tsuyoshi spent most of their days working, finishing up the last orders from summer, putting away their lighter summer cottons and silks in favor of the thicker, sturdier winter varieties as the orders for New Years finery started trickling in.

Tsubasa didn’t have much more time free to think than he’d had during the summer, but when he did have a spare moment he found his thoughts drifting to Masuda, alone in his little house on the edge of the river, and he wondered what it was like there this time of year.

He wondered if the other was lonely.

If Masuda really was some strange figment of his imagination then maybe that was a good thing; it was hard to be lonely if you lived in someone else’s head.

“Tsubasa!”

“Huh?” He turned, giving Tackey a vague, wide-eyed look.

“I’ve been talking to you for five minutes.” Tackey huffed. “You haven’t heard anything I’ve said, have you?”

“I--” Tsubasa started to lie and then decided not to bother since Tackey was obviously onto him anyway. “Not really. Sorry.”

“You’re hopeless.” Tackey gave an exaggerated sigh and threw an acorn at him.

“Sorry.” Tsubasa plucked it off his lap and threw it back with a soft laugh.

“No you’re not.” Tackey grinned, flinching out of the way. “But it’s okay. I’m used to it.”

“So, what were you talking about?”

“Nothing that important.” Tackey watched him out of the corner of his eye. “You’re okay, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You’ve just seemed kind of... far away lately. Like you’re not quite here.”

“Just tired, I guess.” Tsubasa reached up and pulled his necklace out from beneath his clothes, twirling it absently between his fingers. “Things have been busy.”

Tackey hummed in agreement and turned, reaching up to still the other’s fingers, eying the necklace curiously. “Where’d you get this?”

“A friend.”

“A friend?” Tackey arched an eyebrow. “It looks expensive.”

“Maybe. I didn’t ask how much it cost.”

“Really? Does this friend have a name? Maybe a nice pair of—“ Tackey leaned closer, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“No.” Tsubasa rolled his eyes and shoved him away, laughing. “Pervert.”

“Liar. When you feel like being honest, I want all the juicy details.”

This time when Tsubasa turned away and ignored him, it was on purpose.

~o~

“Close your eyes.”

“What?” Tsubasa turned, giving Masuda a suspicious look. The other just stared at him innocently until he gave in and shut his eyes, holding out his hand to humor him. He resisted the urge to peek as Masuda pressed something against his palm, his fingers curling around it automatically.

“Okay, open them.”

Tsubasa blinked, lifting his hand and opening his fist to find a necklace nestled inside, a leather cord attached to a small jade pendant in the shape of a dragon. He gaped at it for a second before looking up at Massu, his smile almost embarrassed. “What’s this?”

“A gift.”

“For what?”

“So you always remember me.” Tsubasa started to laugh at the sentiment but stopped, turning the sound into a smile instead.

“I have to _leave_ before I can forget you.”

“I could always take it back and give it to you then.” Masuda reached out like he was going to take it back, grinning when Tsubasa snatched his hand away.

“That’s okay.” He lifted the necklace, admiring it for a moment before slipping it around his neck. From the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Masuda blush. “I’ll take it now. Less hassle this way.”

~o~

When spring came, it was like the entire city let out one collective sigh of relief. The winters in there were by no means as long or harsh as some places, but the cold winds rolling in off the mountains and the short days were enough to make it seem to drag on much longer than any of the other seasons. Tempers were always shorter, conversations altogether more curt and bleak, as if the extended darkness was leeching some of the happiness out of people and they needed to wait for spring for it to seep back in again.

Tsubasa was no exception to this, having been old enough when he moved here to remember the much milder winters near the coast; Tsuyoshi wasn’t much better, constantly reminiscing about how much better the winters were in Nara and, the few times a year when it actually snowed, lamenting not still being there. They’d learned to make a game of distracting themselves as much as possible from the weather outside, sitting huddled together in the main room after dinner—usually with guests, since Koichi, Tackey and Subaru seemed unable to feed themselves on their own anymore—trading tales and seeing who could come up with the best story. Tsubasa never had much to share, but he liked to listen.

Truthfully, he was glad for the company; winter had always made him feel lonelier, somehow, more isolated, and this year seemed worse than others. He found himself with more time to think, and his thoughts kept drifting back to Masuda. His memories of the time spent with the other had gotten fuzzier over time, almost dreamlike, and he found himself thinking about them at odd hours of the day, going over them in his head as if he could seal all the details into his memory; some irrational part of his brain insisted that if he didn’t, he’d forget altogether. His fingers always seemed to drift to the necklace Masuda had given him at these times, the feel of it between his fingers enough to reassure him.

When spring finally did come, Tsubasa’s sigh of relief was long and enthusiastic. The first patches of green were enough to lift his spirits, and by the time the first buds started showing on the trees and Tsuyoshi started talking about the annual trip to Tokyo for supplies, the winter melancholy was little more than a distant memory.

“I think we’ll need more blue this year.” Tsuyoshi was crouched over their books, mumbling to himself as he scanned the lines of characters, squinting to decipher his own messy hand.

Tsubasa made soft sounds of agreement in what felt like the right places, only half-listening as he busied himself ridding their workshop of the last traces of winter.

“Maybe more purple, too. Koichi said something about making his costumes look more regal this year.”

“Hm.” Tsubasa made a non-committal sound, attention focused more on the windowsill he was wiping down than the current conversation.

“Maybe more yellow, too.” He flipped to a different page, drumming his finger against the table in an odd rhythm. “I thought you could leave next week. The rivers are still up a bit, but you should miss most of the rain this way.”

“Hm--wait, leave?” Tsubasa paused long enough to give Tsuyoshi a questioning look. “Where am I going?”

“Tokyo, of course.”

“Tokyo?”

“For supplies.” Tsuyoshi arched an eyebrow, one corner of his mouth hitching up slightly. “Unless you’d forgotten?”

“No. I just thought we’d be going together.” Tsubasa dropped the rag into the bucket at his feet and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

“You did a good job last year.” Tsuyoshi shrugged, meeting Tsubasa’s eyes and giving him a look that seemed to speak volumes. “I thought you could manage it on your own from now on. If you want to, that is.”

“Sure.” Tsubasa smiled, feeling a bit like a weight had been lifted off his chest. They hadn’t really spoken about his trip the year before since right after he’d gotten back, but the memory had been hanging like an unspoken cloud between them ever since. Tsuyoshi had never brought up Tsubasa’s bizarre insistence that he’d been gone for two months instead of a week again, but sometimes he noticed Tsuyoshi giving him strange looks, like the older man didn’t know quite what to make of him. It was nice knowing that Tsuyoshi at least trusted him enough to do this, even if he still didn’t seem to quite know how to react to some of Tsubasa’s odd behavior over the past year.

“Just be sure you don’t fall in the river and ruin our order this time.” The words were quiet, but accompanied by the gentle humor of Tsuyoshi’s that he loved and hadn’t heard nearly often enough throughout the long winter months.

“I won’t,” Tsubasa promised and hoped he sounded convincing.

~o~

“So, what do you do all day?” Tsubasa posed the question one night over dinner, wondering how he hadn’t thought to ask it before.

“Work, mostly.”

“What kind of work?”

“Tending fields.”

“Really? You don’t seem like a farmer.” Tsubasa stopped, making a face. “Sorry, that probably sounded awful.”

“It’s okay.” Masuda laughed and took a sip of his tea. “I’m not a farmer. I just make sure that the fields are getting enough water.”

“You clean the irrigation ditches?”

“Sort of.” Masuda smiled and offered Tsubasa another piece of fish. “And I keep an eye on the river.”

“Isn’t that a lot of work for one person?”

“I have help if I need it.”

“Who? I thought maybe you were all alone out here.”

Masuda shrugged, chewing a piece of fish thoughtfully. “They mostly keep to themselves. I’m never really alone out here, though. There are plants and trees and animals everywhere.”

“And bugs,” Tsubasa reminded him, wrinkling his nose slightly.

“I try to forget those.”

Tsubasa laughed and gave the other a sympathetic look. “But what about people? Don’t you miss having someone to talk to?”

Masuda shrugged. “I can always find someone to talk to when I need it.”

“Like me?”

“Usually I don’t have to drag them out of the river and nurse them back to health.”

“Then I guess I should stick around a little longer, so you don’t have to look for anyone else. I’d hate for you to have to go searching the river again.” He glanced briefly at his ankle and wondered how much longer it would take to heal, part of him hoping that it would be a few weeks longer, at least.

Masuda offered a subdued smile and a nod, his eyes fixed on his plate. “You can stay as long as you like.”

~o~

Tsubasa hadn’t exactly planned on veering off course or making any extra stops on the way back from Tokyo, but a day into the return trip he found himself taking a right when he could have taken a left, feet carrying him down the same path they’d taken the year before. Whether it was some sort of subconscious conspiracy on his body’s part or just a strange coincidence, he found himself following the road to a familiar bend in the river, his steps growing noticeably lighter the closer he got. By the time he reached the shore, he was practically skipping and grinning from ear to ear. His excitement lasted just long enough for him to get a good look around him before it died a sudden, painful death.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Tsubasa mumbled to the empty air around him, his pack resting in the grass at his feet as he stared out at the opposite shore. It was all here, all the things that he’d grown familiar with during the time he’d spent here with Masuda--the grass, the trees, the river rushing just beyond the banks, even the mountains in the distance. It all still looked exactly the way he remembered it, with two notable exceptions: the bridge across the river and Masuda’s house were both missing, twin posts standing on either side of the river with nothing but empty air between them and a stretch of unbroken grass marking the places that they should have been.

He tipped his hat up, squinting against the sunlight as he tried to search for some indication that he’d stumbled across the wrong place or that his eyes were playing tricks on him. He _knew_ that Masuda’s house should have been there, just at the base of that hill, probably could have drawn an outline of it in the air if someone had asked him to. And yet there was nothing, and the longer he stared the more evident that became.

He let out a frustrated sound and started to walk back and forth along the river bank, trying to make sense of the difference between what he remembered and what he was seeing. His hand rose, slipping his necklace from beneath his neckline, rolling the little stone dragon between his fingers as he paced.

“Are you lost?”

The soft voice broke his train of thought and he jumped, a half-smile on his lips and a half-second of wild hope in his chest before he spotted the owner of the voice sitting on a rock a few feet from the river bank, looking him up and down curiously. It was most definitely not Masuda.

“No. Not lost,” he answered automatically, trying to figure out if the person staring at him was a man or a woman. The posture and clothing were masculine, but the face was delicate enough that he couldn’t help but wonder. “Just looking for something.”

“Maybe I can help you find it.” The boy—Tsubasa’s mind decided that he must be a boy when he spoke again, his voice soft but something about it unmistakably masculine—smiled at him and tilted his head to the side in an unspoken question.

Tsubasa opened his mouth to politely refuse, but his tongue seemed to have other ideas. “Do you live around here?”

“When I need to, yes,” the boy answered, smiling like it was a perfectly normal thing to say.

“Do you know Masuda Takahisa?” Tsubasa glanced over his shoulder then back at the boy, twirling his necklace nervously between his fingers.

“Oh, Massu. Of course.”

“Really? Do you know where he is? I was going to visit him, but I can’t find his house.”

“Why not?” The boy smiled at him and something about the expression was entirely too knowing.

“It’s not where I thought it was.”

“It’s not?”

“No.” Tsubasa shook his head, motioning over his shoulder. “It should be right there, but there’s nothing.”

“Looks what way, doesn’t it?”

“I thought that’s where it was, but I must have gotten it confused with somewhere else.”

“That’s your problem, then.” The boy laughed a little, the sound not nearly as irritating as it should have been. “Maybe you should come back sometime when you’re not thinking so much.”

“But why would I come back here if his house isn’t there?”

The boy shrugged. “You never know, it could be back by then.”

Tsubasa frowned and decided it wasn’t worth asking any more questions. The boy wasn’t exactly giving him any real answers and it was just going to end up frustrating him in the end. Besides, something about him seemed a bit off. “Well, thanks for the help anyway.”

“Tegoshi.” The boy dangled one bare foot off the rock and into the water, a smile on his face as his eyes drifted up the river bank, settling on a spot in the distance, just over Tsubasa’s shoulder.

Tsubasa followed the other’s gaze, forehead creased as he stared at the unbroken grass, and thought for a second that he could make out a house-shaped shadow.

“It was nice to see you again, Tsubasa-kun.” He could hear the quiet splish-splash of Tegoshi’s foot in the water behind him, breaking into his thoughts.

“Wait, how did you--”

By the time he managed to get the question out and turned, there was nothing but the empty river behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

“So why do you bother going all the way to Tokyo to buy dye if most of what you need is growing all around you?”

Tsubasa paused in his examination of a low-lying stand of leaves, turning briefly to meet the other’s eyes. “It’s faster to use synthetic dye. Cheaper, too.” He plucked a leaf off and held it up, looking it over carefully. “It takes a lot more time to dye fabric with these and the results aren’t always guaranteed. Too much variation.”

“Isn’t that part of the beauty of it? Everything you make with it is unique.”

“It is.” Tsubasa hummed, leaving the plants and standing to set off down the path again, Masuda falling in beside him with slow steps, their arms occasionally brushing as they moved. They kept up an ambling pace, moving deeper into the woods as Tsubasa scanned the trees and undergrowth around them with a distracted sort of concentration. The light was dim here, tinged a pale green, reflecting the color of the leaves above them to give the woods a surreal sort of beauty.

“Most people don’t appreciate that kind of beauty,” Tsubasa murmured after a long silence, and Masuda just nodded, not missing a beat as they picked up the conversation where they’d left it.

“Maybe they’ve just forgotten how.”

“Maybe.” Tsubasa smiled a little, watching the other’s profile from the corner of his eye. “That sounds like something Tsuyoshi would say.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. With a lot more words and poetic license, but the same basic idea.”

“He sounds interesting.”

“He is. I think you’d like him.” Tsubasa’s smile widened. “He’s an artist.”

“Like you?”

“I’m not an artist.” Tsubasa shook his head, the path tilting and sending him tipping into Massu, the other’s hands coming up to hold him steady. “Thanks.”

Masuda smiled, hands lingering for a moment before he let go. “What makes you say you’re not an artist?”

“All I do is make dye. Tsuyoshi’s the one who designs everything.”

“You can’t make art without color.”

“I guess I never thought about it like that,” Tsubasa mumbled, Masuda’s strange logic making him smile for reasons he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

~o~

The rest of Tsubasa’s trip home was uneventful, if a bit longer than the year before. His steps were slower this time, his head too tangled up in thoughts and questions to pay much attention to his progress, and by the time he finally stumbled his way through the door at home he was two days over schedule. He told Tsuyoshi a story about wanting to enjoy the scenery and pretended that he didn’t see the worried looks the other gave him when he stared off into space even more than usual. He focused on work and tried not to think, wrinkling his nose every time he caught a whiff of the unnatural, almost chemical smell that the powdered dye left on his hands.

He spent a lot of his free time walking along the river at the edge of the city, sometimes with Tackey or Subaru and sometimes alone, thinking. They teased him about being too quiet and said he was getting too thoughtful in his old age, and he just smiled and nodded his agreement.

He still thought about Masuda a lot, thought about the non-existent bridge and the empty stretch of grass, and that strange boy sitting on that rock, smiling at him and speaking in riddles. He thought about the sound Masuda’s feet made as they moved through the grass together, the dimple in his cheek, the way his house had always smelled of miso and fresh fish in the morning.

Occasionally he wondered if maybe he wasn’t a little crazy, but mostly he just wondered.

“Tsuyoshi?”

“Hm?” The other didn’t bother to look up from the piece of fabric stretched out before him, held taut by a well-worn wooden frame. His attention was focused on the brush in his right hand, moving against the fabric in careful, practiced movements, leaving blobs of color behind that would eventually come together to form a larger picture.

“Do you think a person can just disappear?”

“I don’t know. You hear stories about it, sometimes, people just leaving and never coming back, disappearing in the mountains.” Tsuyoshi paused and looked up. “There was an old woman who lived near where I grew up who said that her husband was eaten by the mist.”

“And what do you think happened to him?”

“He ran off. Their son found him in one of the villages in the mountains a few years later, living with another woman.”

“So he wasn’t eaten by the mist.” Tsubasa sighed, wondering how he could be so relieved and so disappointed at the same time.

“No, but that’s just one story.” Tsuyoshi gave Tsubasa a sympathetic look before he turned back to his work. “It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen.”

“Yeah,” Tsubasa mumbled, wondering if he really believed that.

~o~

“I’m going to miss this,” Tsubasa mumbled as he started to slip out of his clothes, folding them and placing them in a careful pile next to Masuda’s before he took a seat along the edge of the hot spring that served as their bathing area.

“No hot springs where you live?”

“Just public baths.” Tsubasa shook his head, smiling a little as he dipped his feet into the water, hissing a little at the heat. “But that’s not really what I meant. I’m going to just miss… this. Everything here.”

Masuda made a soft sound that might have been agreement and sat down next to him, slipping a foot into the water and nudging Tsubasa’s gently. “I’ll miss you being here.”

“Yeah?” Tsubasa smiled and pushed his foot out through the water, hooking it around Masuda’s and tangling their legs together.

“You’re a good cook.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Tsubasa laughed and leaned back, tipping his head back to stare up at the leaves stretched out above them, the different shades of green broken up by the occasional patches of blue sky that managed to peek through. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to seal everything about that exact moment into his memory.

Tsubasa was so busy trying to memorize everything about that moment that he almost missed the one that came after; luckily for him he didn’t, the warm, slightly ticklish feel of Masuda’s breath against the side of his neck and the feather light press of the other’s lips against his skin bringing him back to himself. He inhaled sharply and leaned into the touch, brief thought it was, trying to decide whether or not he’d been expecting that.

By the time he thought to open his eyes and turn his head it was already over, Masuda sitting stock still beside him and staring out over the water like nothing had happened. If it hadn’t been for the way Masuda’s cheeks were flushed—a bit too pink to blame solely on the heat floating up from the water—he might have actually believed it hadn’t.

He watched Masuda press his lips together nervously and smiled a little, deciding it was time to make a moment of his own. He could feel Masuda watching him out of the corner his eye as he brushed the other’s hair aside and leaned in to press a kiss against the soft skin just behind his ear. Tsubasa let his lips linger there briefly as he breathed in the scent of Masuda’s hair—like soap and water and something earthy that he couldn’t place—before he pulled away and sat back, trying to read the other man’s expression.

After a long, altogether too silent moment, Masuda stood without comment, leaving Tsubasa to stare at the empty space where he’d been and wonder if he hadn’t done something wrong; he didn’t have to wonder for long, though, the question answered as Masuda slip up behind him a moment later, touching his hair lightly and leaning forward to breathe against his ear.

“I—“ he started but Masuda shushed him with a well-placed kiss against the curve of his ear, his knees bumping against Tsubasa’s hips as he reached around him and dipped his hand into the water. Masuda straightened again, leaving a trail of water droplets against Tsubasa’s thigh on his way, and Tsubasa spotted the washcloth in his hand.

“Lean back.” It took him a moment to realize that Masuda was speaking to him, the feel of the other behind him—close enough that he could feel the heat off of his skin, but still not quite touching—enough to make it difficult to think. Masuda repeated himself, softly, this time closer to Tsubasa’s ear, and he finally did as the other asked, swallowing loudly and closing his eyes as he let his head fall back against Masuda’s shoulder.

The first touch of the washcloth against his arm was more of a surprise than it should have been, the startled sound that he made at the feel of the warm, soapy cloth sliding against his skin embarrassingly high-pitched. Behind him, Masuda laughed and Tsubasa could feel the sound against his back and smiled, turning his head to hide the expression against the curve of Masuda’s neck.

It was quiet for a long time after that, their shallow breathing and the familiar sound of cloth against skin the only thing to break the silence, making Tsubasa feel warm and safe and completely relaxed. He squirmed a little when Masuda switched the washcloth to his other hand and started on his other arm, taking care to lift Tsubasa’s hand, cleaning carefully between his fingers. Tsubasa wiggled his fingers a little in response and pressed a kiss against Masuda’s neck to show his appreciation. Masuda grunted his approval and shifted the other against him before bringing the wash cloth over his neck and across his shoulders, down onto his chest.

Tsubasa groaned softly as Masuda’s hand worked its way over his torso slowly, paying close attention to all the planes and angles of his skin, leaving a carefully made trail of bubbles and goosebumps behind to mark its progress. It slid past Tsubasa’s belly button and down onto his hip, Masuda’s fingertips pressing a bit harder as they moved down, down, down to rest against his thigh. He arched his back as Masuda ran the slightly roughened cloth against the soft skin of his thigh, his legs parting slightly and a soft plea falling from his lips. He felt hot breath against his ear and lips against his hair as Masuda shifted behind him, sliding forward until their bodies pressed together, fitting against each other in all the right ways.

Tsubasa gasped out the other’s name, legs falling open as Masuda’s hand inched higher on his thigh, stopping just shy of its goal, at a point that had Tsubasa squirming and trying to turn around to face him. Masuda used his free hand to grip Tsubasa’s waist, holding him in place as he breathed into his hair and chuckled, the sound low and strained.

“Impatient,” Masuda mumbled as Tsubasa continued to squirm, nipping at his ear and waiting until he stilled a little before he slid his hand higher, settling it against the one place where they both wanted it.

“Please.” Tsubasa arched his hips into the touch, one of his hands fumbling down to grip Masuda’s. Masuda made a soft sound of annoyance and started to push the other’s hand away, but Tsubasa stopped him by raking his teeth against along the side of his neck and pressing his lips against his ear. “Get rid of this.”

“What?” Masuda panted and started to pull his hand away as well, confused, but Tsubasa held him fast, waiting to make sure he was going to stay before he reached between Masuda’s fingertips and tugged the washcloth free. He tossed it away from him and into the water, not bothering to lift his face long enough to see where it fell, and brought his hand back to cover Masuda’s, fingertips tracing the veins on the back of the other’s hand. Masuda laughed, short and soft, and closed his hand around the other, squeezing carefully and give a gentle, teasing pull.

For a split second after that first, hesitant touch, Tsubasa was afraid he might actually split apart at the seams, spill out of his skin and across the rocks and down into the water, his entire body reduced to threads of desperation and want and need. But then he shivered, and Masuda tightened his arm around his waist and held him close, making soft sounds against his ear and mumbling the occasional word of nonsense as he started moved his hand, slow and solid and just the way he needed, and he felt himself come back together again.

Masuda sighed and murmured something that Tsubasa couldn’t quite make out, tightening his grip a little and rocking his hips forward, rubbing against Tsubasa in a way that had him making an embarrassingly desperate noise. Masuda either liked it or was too caught up to be bothered by it, though, moving his hand a little faster and rocking his hips against him again in answer. Tsubasa made another noise, this one not quite as embarrassing, and reached back to grip Masuda’s thigh as he arched his back, trying to get closer. Masuda seemed to like the idea and tried to accommodate him, shifting his legs until they completely straddled Tsubasa’s hips and tightening the arm around his waist to force the other back against him.

Tsubasa could feel Masuda everywhere behind him, against his back and shoulders and pressed between his cheeks, hot and hard and sliding against him each time one of them moved. Tsubasa groaned at the feeling and canted his hips, pressing back to rub against the other in earnest. That seemed to be all that Masuda needed to start moving his hand in quick, tight movements over him, making heat build in his stomach as pleasure gathered at the base of his spine. It kept building until it was all too much and Tsubasa’s leg kicked out against the water, spraying droplets up onto his legs and the ledge around him as he arched his back and cried out softly as he came over Masuda’s hand.

Masuda dug his fingertips into Tsubasa’s hip and breathed needy little sounds against his ear, his hand still moving slowly as Tsubasa shivered against him and tried to come down. When he finally did, he could still feel Masuda pressed up against him, chest hot against Tsubasa’s back as he made a sound that was more plea than anything. He took a moment to catch his breath before pulling Masuda’s hands off of him, shivering at the sound the other man made as he pulled the other’s arm from his waist and turned against him to straddle his hips. The look on Masuda’s face—desperate and needy and like he was clinging desperately to the last remaining shred of his control—was enough to make Tsubasa wish they’d been facing each other while Masuda was touching him, just so he could have been looking at that face while he came.

He decided that seeing that face while _Masuda_ came would be a good enough substitute, though, and slid his hand down between them as he leaned in for a kiss.

Masuda groaned, low and rough and bit at Tsubasa’s lip, eyes fluttering shut as Tsubasa’s hand closed around him. Tsubasa leaned back and squeezed him, watching his expression shift, his entire face open and needy for a split second before he clamped down on his desperation and pulled himself back together. The sight was enough to make Tsubasa shudder, biting at his own lip to keep from whispering embarrassing nonsense as he started to stroke the other, movements fast and a little less than gentle. He considered slowing down and dragging it out for a moment, but pushed the thought aside just as quickly, the way Masuda was thrusting his hips into his hand and leaning against him with that desperate, open look, more than enough to make him change his mind. He kept his eyes fixed on Masuda’s face, watching as the other’s expression slowly fell apart the closer he got, each movement making it a bit harder for him to keep control, until Tsubasa gave a well placed flick of his wrist and it fell apart completely as Masuda came between them. Tsubasa slid his free arm around the other and pressed his hand against his back to steady him, rubbing a slow line up and down his spine as Masuda shivered and buried his face against Tsubasa’s shoulder, trying to muffle his moans.

Tsubasa lost track of how long they stayed like that, leaning close and panting softly into each other’s ears, before they finally pulled away, Tsubasa sliding out of Masuda’s lap a bit reluctantly to sit beside him. They both leaned over at the same time to dip their hands in the water and Tsubasa smiled, throwing Masuda a look that the other returned. They helped each other clean up and fell into a companionable silence, their feet hanging down into the water side by side, toes brushing.

Tsubasa had finally managed to get his breathing and heart beat back under control when he felt Masuda’s hand slide out across the rocks to cover his own, touch light and even a bit uncertain. He smiled and turned his hand over, weaving their fingers together and giving the other’s hand a gentle squeeze. They fell into silence again and he was tempted to close his eyes and try to memorize everything about this moment, but decided that he’d rather just live it instead.

They’d been sitting there for awhile, enjoying the closeness, when Masuda’s laughter broke the silence around them. Tsubasa turned his head to give him a curious look. “What?”

“I just realized we didn’t wash our hair.”

Tsubasa rolled his eyes and tightened his hand around Masuda’s, laughing along with him. “I’ll do yours if you do mine?”

~o~

Spring came again, brighter that year than the last. The winter had been longer and harsher than usual, bringing with it more snow than most people could remember and keeping them all trapped indoors. When spring finally crept in and melted the snow away, it brought a strange sense of optimism with it. Everyone seemed more willing to smile, their steps lighter, and Tsubasa was no exception. All the things that he’d worried about for the past year fell to the back of his mind, only floating to the surface from time to time when he was lying in bed, just on the verge of sleep.

He spent as much of his free time (which wasn’t much time at all, but he’d gotten good at stretching out the hours after he finished work so that the night seemed to last longer) outside, enjoying the weather and the company of friends. He spent a lot of time with Tackey and Subaru, laughing and drinking and just letting himself enjoy being young. Sometimes he kept himself so busy that he went the whole day without thinking about Masuda, only realizing when he slipped into bed; it always surprised him and left a tiny ball of guilt like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach.

“Are you telling me you wouldn’t want to be with a beautiful woman if she asked you?” Subaru’s voice was loud, his boldness fueled by the nearly empty bottle on the table between them.

“No, not if she wasn’t really a woman!” Tackey shot back, his voice almost loud enough to match Subaru’s.

They were both loud enough that Tsubasa was grateful that they were crammed into one of the small, unused side rooms at Koichi’s house and not out in public where they probably would have been kicked out onto the streets for their noise level a few hours ago. Not that he’d put the same past Koichi, but he was still at the theater and probably would be for a few more hours, leaving them the time and space to be as loud as they wanted.

Tsubasa took a sip of his sake, gone lukewarm and slightly unpleasant, and leaned forward to interrupt his friends’ bickering. “What do you mean, not really a woman?”

“You know... not a woman.” Tackey made a vague sort of gesture in the air in front of him. Tsubasa was just about to ask what sort of woman wasn’t _actually_ a woman when Tackey finally decided to finish his thought, saving him the trouble. “A spirit that just tricks you into _thinking_ it’s a woman.”

“If it tricks you then you wouldn’t _know_ it wasn’t a real woman in the first place,” Subaru pointed out, his voice thankfully dropping a few notches. “Unless you think that any woman that wants you has to be a spirit in disguise.”

“That’s not what I meant—“

“It would make sense in your case.”

“Oh, like you have room to talk.”

It took Tsubasa’s head a moment to grab hold of the thread of the conversation long enough to realize that his friends were actually referring to the play they’d performed a few hours earlier—one of the standard stories about a fox spirit pretending to be human and the trickery and romantic woes that came of it—and not something that had actually happened.

Tsubasa sighed and leaned back against the wall, bored with the conversation now that he realized it was just the two of them talking shop. He closed his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, only listening to them with half an ear.

“Why would you want to sleep with a spirit, anyway?”

“Why not?”

“Because, they’re trouble. They spend all their time trying to trick humans.”

“Do you actually _read_ any of the plays that we do?” Subaru paused briefly but then plunged ahead, not waiting for an answer. “Spirits aren’t good or bad, they just _are_. They help people as often as they trick them.”

“Name one type of spirit that helps people without asking for something in return.”

“Water spirits.”

“Water spirits? Aren’t they supposed to cause floods?” Tsubasa could hear Tackey’s glass thud against the table top, most likely for dramatic effect. “And people drown in rivers all the time. How is that helpful?”

“Yeah, and without rivers we there’d be nothing to drink or bathe in and no way to bring water to the fields. We’d all starve.” Tsubasa’s eyes popped open, just in time to see Subaru giving Tackey a haughty look. “Besides, if you’d really paid attention to the stories you’d know that if a water spirit _really_ likes you, you don’t have to worry about drowning.”

Tsubasa opened his mouth, a thousand questions right there on the tip of his tongue, but he never got a chance to ask any of them. Tackey decided that then was the time to start talking again, cutting Tsubasa off as he babbled something else about water spirits, arms flailing out for emphasis and right into half-full glass and the remainder of their bottle of sake. He managed to spill the contents of both all over himself, Subaru, and the floor, and since Tsubasa was by far the most sober of the three of them, he was the one stuck cleaning up and carting Tackey off to bed. By the time he’d managed to get the other settled in and made it back to ask his questions, Subaru had already fallen asleep beneath the table.

~o~

It was early when Tsubasa woke up, the light filtering in through the windows still holding the dull reddish tinge that indicated that brief span of time when dawn had just finishing and the sun hadn’t quite managed to take its hold for the day. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, chasing the shadows with his eyes.

Masuda stirred slightly and mumbled something in his sleep beside him, and Tsubasa turned his head to watch the other’s profile as he slept. All the time that he’d been here, he’d never once woken up before Masuda. He had a faint impression of the other sleeping beside him from time to time, the hazy sort of recollection that he couldn’t be completely sure of, but he’d never really seen it. He always seemed to drift off to sleep before Masuda slipped into bed, waking up after the other was already up and dressed for the day, usually with breakfast waiting for him.

Tsubasa rolled onto his side to get a better look at him and reached out, tracing one of the other man’s eyebrows with his fingertip, smiling at the way his nose scrunched up and his eyebrows furrowed as he huffed softly in his sleep. He pulled his finger back, hesitating briefly before he pressed it against Masuda’s cheek, drawing a half-moon against his skin where he knew the other’s dimple was when he smiled.

Smiling, he rested his hand on the futon in the space between their bodies, the heat coming off of Masuda’s skin warming his fingertips. He laid there like and watched the other sleep as the light around them shifted, changing from red to orange to golden. Eventually, he drifted back to sleep without realizing it, waking up again much later to an empty pillow beside him and the sound of Masuda fixing breakfast.

He stayed there, staring at Masuda’s pillow and thinking, until Masuda told him in a soft voice that breakfast was done. They both sat and ate together in relatively comfortable silence, smiling at each other and stealing glances across their bowls. Tsubasa waited until after they’d cleaned the dishes to tell Masuda that tomorrow he’d be leaving for home. Masuda didn’t act very surprised, just nodded and smiled a bit sadly and promised to help him gather up his things.

~o~

“Do you know anything about magical bridges?” Tsubasa was sitting on the step that lead to the alley beside Tsuyoshi’s shop, the door pushed open in an effort to let in some of the cooler air outside, Subaru squeezed into the narrow space beside him.

“Magical bridges?”

“Like spirits would use. Something that would disappear.” He reached down to pluck a blade of grass from beneath his foot, rolling it between his fingers absently. “I thought you might have heard something from a play.”

“Some people say rainbows are bridges between the earth and heaven. That’s how Izanagi and Izanami moved down from the heavens when they created the earth.” Subaru shrugged and Tsubasa could see him thinking out of the corner of his eye. “And then I guess there’s the bridge that Orihime and Hikoboshi use.”

“The one that only appears once a year.”

“Right.”

“So what happens if they miss the day?”

“Then they have to wait to see each other again until the next year.” Subaru laughed and gave Tsubasa a weird look. “Why the sudden interest, anyway? This is all kid’s stuff. Didn’t anyone ever tell you bedtime stories as a kid?”

“They did.” Tsubasa grinned at the other and felt laughter bubbling up inside of him. “I’d just forgotten.”

~o~

This time when Tsubasa found himself heading toward the river on his way back from Tokyo it was by conscious choice, his feet taking a right instead of a left and leading him away from the shorter path home. He’d thought about it long and hard in the weeks between the conversation with Subaru and the beginning of his trip, running over the options in his head over and over again, but in the end he’d decided that there really wasn’t much of a choice. He was going back to the river because it was what he had to do

Tegoshi was already waiting for him when he made it to the riverbank, leaning up against one of the bridge posts with a lazy sort of smile. “You’re back.”

“You knew I would be.”

“Took you long enough.”

“Only a year,” Tsubasa answered, frowning a little as he looked out at the empty air between the bridge posts. “The bridge isn’t here.”

Tegoshi glanced over his shoulder, then back at Tsubasa with a smirk. “You thought it would be?”

“It should be,” Tsubasa mumbled, his voice genuinely confused. “I checked the calendars over and over before I left... today’s the day. It _has_ to be here.”

“Humans.” Tegoshi laughed softly, the sound as strangely melodic as Tsubasa remembered. “That’s always been your problem. You spend so much time thinking.”

“But the bridge—“

“The bridge is here,” Tegoshi interrupted him, turning his head slightly to look out over the water. “It’s always been here.”

“What—where? I don’t see it.”

“Of course not.” Tegoshi turned back to meet his eyes and smiled fondly at him, the kind of look a mother gave her child when she was being particularly indulgent. “You can’t see it. But just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.”

“But what about all the stories?”

“You know what the funny thing is about stories? No two are exactly the same.” Tegoshi arched an eyebrow at him. “They’re also usually completely made up. Well, mostly, anyway.”

“But you told me I had to come back later. Why would you tell me that if the bridge was already here?”

“Because you weren’t ready. You never needed the right day or time to find the bridge.”

“Then what did I need?”

“To want to find it. To _believe_ that you could.”

“Then what about the first time? I wasn’t looking for it then.”

“You weren’t technically looking for it, but you wanted to find it. The circumstances were different that time, anyway.” Tegoshi pushed himself off the post and stepped forward, tilting his head back slightly to meet Tsubasa’s eyes. “You really don’t remember?”

Tsubasa blinked, started to shake his head to say that, no, he really didn’t remember, but then he stopped, realizing that he did. “Oh.”

~o~

It was pouring when Tsubasa reached the river, the clouds overhead blotting out the moon, making it nearly impossible to see the path in front of him. He pulled his hat down lower, trying to keep some of the rain out of his eyes as he scanned the darkness around him for something, anything to provide shelter from the storm. When he found nothing he cursed himself, wishing that he’d been a little less stubborn and stupid and had taken the normal way home. He’d been trying to shave time off his trip, wagering on his ability to beat nature to the punch and he’d lost. Now he was stuck in the middle of nowhere, impossibly lost and sopping wet, wishing for nothing more than to find a hole or somewhere safe to crawl into and wait things out until the storm was over.

Just when he was starting to give up hope and was going over back up plans that would at least let him keep the dye bundled on his back relatively dry, he saw it in front of him, a tiny pinprick of light, bobbing up and down in the night like a beacon. It took him a split second to realize it was a lantern and launch himself towards it, sandals churning up grass and mud in his wake as he ran towards it.

He never stopped to wonder why any other sensible human being would be out on a night like this, too fixated on the possibility of finding somewhere relatively dry to weather the storm to care. He could make out the shadow of a figure as he got closer, small and stooped in the rain, and he called out to them, trying to get their attention as he ran.

The path widened as he neared the riverbank and his sandals met mud and he slid, the pack on his back throwing him off balance and nearly sending him toppling face first into the water. His arms pinwheeled as he struggled to keep his balance, hand flailing out and grabbing onto the nearest solid object to stop his momentum. He clung to it for a moment, panting softly and staring down at the churning waters of the river below him before something out over the water got his attention. He turned to look and realized it was the figure from before, standing on the other side of the river, a lantern clutched in one hand, flame flickering with the force of the wind.

Tsubasa called out and watched as the figure turned to face him, lifting its arm and waving to him, pushing its hood back to revel a welcoming smile and a face that was much younger than he’d expected. Relief washed over him as it beckoned him forward and he finally turned his head, realizing that the pole he’d been clinging to was one of a pair, the other set a few feet to his right, making a gateway out onto the water. He realized it was a bridge and nearly whooped with joy, reaching out to feel for the railing, gripping it tight and letting it guide him as he stepped through the poles and out over the water. It was too dark to see anything but the figure on the other shore, but he continued to feel his way along anyway, trusting his hand to guide him along when his eyes couldn’t. The closer he got, the younger the figure looked, and for a split second, when it bent a little and the light from its lantern flashed against its hair, he swore it might actually have been untouched by the rain. He shook the thought off as quickly as it came, though, too busy focusing on his slow progress across the bridge.

He was three long strides short of solid ground and the promise of somewhere warm to sleep for the night when it happened, a break in the clouds that let the moonlight through, shining down and lighting up Tsubasa and the river and the space where the bridge should have been, space where Tsubasa suddenly realized the figure had been very careful not to let its lantern shine. Tsubasa froze, his eyes going wide as he looked to the few feet between himself and the shore and realized that there was nothing between the shoreline and the water. He glanced to the side to look for the railing only to find his hand holding onto empty air and he realized he couldn’t feel the railing beneath his fingertips anymore.

The figure’s face fell and it shook its head, reaching out a hand to him. “Don’t—“ it started to warn him but he didn’t hear, his face already tipping forward as he looked down at his feet and found nothing there but air. He felt the air shift around him as the figure made a grab for him, too late, and a split second later, he fell.

~o~

“Oh,” Tsubasa repeated the sentiment, wide-eyed while Tegoshi grinned and backed away from him, out between the poles and over the edge of the river bank, out onto what should have been thin air. He blinked, watching the other hover, his own feet feeling like they were nailed to the ground.

“Are you coming?”

“But I—I’ll fall again.”

“Not,” Tegoshi started, offering his hand to Tsubasa with a knowing smile. “If you don’t look down.”

“How do I do that?”

“I’d recommend closing your eyes.”

Tsubasa swallowed, took a few shuffling steps forward until he stood between the posts, his toes hanging out over the edge of the riverbank, knocking pebbles down into the water below. “How do I know this will work?”

“You don’t.” Tegoshi shrugged, smile never faltering. “You could leave now and go home, forget that any of this ever happened. Another year or two and I doubt you’ll remember anything at all.”

“No.” Tsubasa set his jaw, hands clenching into fists at his side.

“I didn’t think so.” Tegoshi’s smile widened into a grin as he reached out, taking one of Tsubasa’s hands into his own. “I guess you’re going to have to just trust me, then.”

Tsubasa turned his head, glancing across the river at a familiar stretch of grass. He turned away after a long moment and met Tegoshi’s eyes, squeezing his hand around the other’s and giving him a tight lipped smile.

“Ready?”

“It’s now or never.”

“Not really, but I do have places to be later. I’d rather not have to come back.”

Tsubasa laughed nervously and returned the smile the other was giving him, nodding once before he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, picturing Masuda’s dimple as he took a step forward, out over the water.


End file.
